Advice to My Former Self
I have sometimes entertained the whimsical thought that it would have been good if the David of 1966 could have had a conversation with the David of 2022. Who would understand and want the best for that sensitive, sincere kid more than the person he grew up to be? Here’s a few words I might have shared with that young man who was just beginning to enter into life as his own person. They’re words that are still good for me to consider from time to time 56 years later.
Admiration There are many people, places and things in life that can be seen as impressive and worthy of our respect. It’s easy to become accustomed to what we experience on a daily basis, and this can make it hard for us to see what’s around us for what it really is. I wonder if people who pass by a great cathedral everyday eventually don’t take notice of it. That probably happens. You may not live next to a cathedral, but perhaps there’s a maple tree you could take notice of and see as if for the first time.
Devotion Find what it is you love to do and devote yourself to it. Freely discover whatever it is that fills you with enthusiasm and then give it your all. You may discover eventually that whatever it is isn’t for you after all, but don’t be too quick to give up. Devotion requires perseverance and sacrifice. Whatever it is, remind yourself of what made you first want to run track, play the violin, be on stage, write a novel and see how you do when you put your mind to it.
Virtue This might seem a somewhat old-fashioned word, and maybe it is, but I don’t think it’s possible to be happy in life without having high moral standards. Being a person of virtue doesn’t mean going through life depriving yourself of fun and enjoyment. Being a person of virtue means living in such a way as to enhance life by recognizing the pitfalls that people sometimes fall into and avoiding them as much as possible. You’ll fall into some yourself, they’re unavoidable at times. But being authentic, compassionate, patient, respectful, among other things, will allow you to see where you are and get to a better place faster.
Inclusion if there’s an activity you are drawn to, believe in yourself enough to participate in it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t belong in the Drama Club or on the soccer team. Include yourself in with people you like being around and with things you like to do. If it turns out they’re not who you thought they were or you don’t like swimming after all, then leave for something else. Just don’t let yourself think you don’t belong when you want to only because you aren’t sure of yourself
Community We all need to belong to a group of people we share something in common with. Some people say a community is as important as eating and sleeping. True, there are some people who prefer to remain apart from others most of the time, but even they sometimes need to be with others. Thoreau’s cabin was only about a mile or so from Emerson’s home and Henry stopped by from time to time.
Equality People are different. We all have different skills and abilities. Unless you’re a world champion you’ll always find somebody better than you in whatever it is you’re doing. But that’s not the point. What matters is that everyone, just by being human, has the right to devote themselves to what they want to do, to be the best person they can be, to be included when that’s what they want to be and to belong when that’s what they want to do.
These are some of the things I have learned, and continue to learn, about life. You’ll have to learn this and lots of other parts of life for yourself, but maybe this will help a little to live the good life I want for you.
